Untapped Source of Peace

Untappped source of peace,
The only real hope
Is to draw upon the collective wisdom of women.
Those with direct experience of the cost of war:
The life of child, grandchild, sibling, spouse.
The loss of limb or mind of someone near and dear,
The loss of laughter, the pervasiveness of fear,
The loss of hope for the future.

Untapped source of peace,
Those who know of domestic violence:
Seen the effect of bullying on sons,
Seen daughters become silent,
Seen light go out in their eyes.
Those who know
That when every child matters,
When none are hungry, abused or discounted
The world will become a kinder place
For us all

Untapped source of peace,
Women with empathy
Who live in a world apart,
Are safe, loved, and fortunate,
Yet can imagine
Being helpless, beaten, and raped,
Then forced to bear a child
Conceived in violence.
Women who know in their hearts
That what happens to any woman
Anywhere
Could happen to them.

Untapped source of peace,
Women who see loved ones filled with vengeance and hate,
Hypervigilant, fear-ridden, or afraid to sleep
Because of the nighmares.
Husbands, brothers, sons, and now daughters
Home from wars,
Bearing little resemblance to who they could have been
In a peaceful world.

Untapped source of peace,
Women in circles,
Women connecting,
Women together
Bringing the sacred feminine,
Maternal instinct, sister archetype,
Mother power
Into the world.

From Urgent Message From Mother: Gather the Women, Save the World
© 2005 Jean Shinoda Bolen

I love birth.  I love working with women during the transformative period of their childbearing years.  But, as I've worked more and more with women, I've begun to feel a sense of fragmentation in women's lives.  Our society lacks the many meaningful opportunities for continuity in women's lives, for women of all ages and backgrounds to love and nurture and learn from each other as we ask the important questions of our lives.

Each season of our life is only truly meaningful in context.  We give birth as the 18 year old maiden who both feared and looked forward to the birth of her children.  We live and love and learn at 18 because of what is to come.  We give birth to become grandmothers.  We are grandmothers because we gave birth and now hold up the candle for others who are following us.  We rock babies so that we can watch them grow up, go to school, leave the nest. 

Mother's groups and childbirth classes and purple hat clubs are wonderful.  But sometimes we need a little continuity.  An opportunity to connect the pieces and appreciate all the seasons of our lives -- past, present and future.

That's what I hope Red Tent Circles will provide -- continuity.  I hope that women will look forward to them each and every month as a chance to recharge.  A chance to meet with other women and revel in the richness of hearing the voices and seeing the true faces of a a diverse group of women.  A chance to experience the wisdom, joy and understanding that come only through listening deeply, without judgment to those who are different than us, those who have walked the path that we are walking and those who are following behind.

So, what will we do?

Red Tent Circles will be a wonderful way to recharge and replenish ourselves and learn from one another.  Think of it as a monthly mini-retreat  They will be based in dialogue, but will also include music, art, dancing and probably plenty of chocolate! 

We will see what they become as we go along, as everyone will have a place and a chance for input into how to make our time together most meaningful.

What, exactly, is dialogue?

Dialogue is a beautiful principle and anyone who has ever participated in a true dialogue understands the power behind it. 

True dialogue is based on the following principles (taken from www.millionthcircle.org).

• Create sacred space. This includes physically preparing a space to accommodate the participants in a circle, usually with a centerpiece or altar.
• Listen with compassion and for wisdom. This includes listening without an agenda, suspending judgment, being curious and finding the underlying meaning in others' statements. Also, it is listening for wisdom as it comes through each participant.
• Speak from your heart and experience. Speak one at a time. This includes saying what is true for you and speaking to the center of the circle, not to another individual. We offer our experience and feelings to the circle, not our advice. Also, we speak one at a time and invoke a talking piece when needed, to ensure that all are heard.
• Invite silence and reflection when needed, in you and in the circle. This includes listening to our own inner guidance before speaking. Also, we request silence and reflection in the circle when we feel it is needed.
• Take responsibility for your experience and your impact on the circle. This includes demonstrating self-respect and self-restraint. We self-monitor to ensure that our needs and expectations are being met. We ensure our contribution adds to the positive experience of all in the circle.
• Keep the confidence of the circle. This refers to our confidentiality agreements. What is spoken in the circle, stays in the circle to help ensure a safe environment for sharing our experiences and feelings.
• Make decisions, when needed, by consensus. This refers to our decision making process. Should a circle need to make a decision, it is generally desirable to come to a consensus. These guidelines can be used as a starting point for group agreements in any circle, knowing that each group will add or delete as they see fit.

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